Alien Magnetism (The Shadow Zone Brotherhood Book 6) Page 3

  “Do you mean, have I told him about you and do you need to be worried that someday he’s going to hunt you down for doing depraved things to me?”

  I chuckle at the very thought. Noa wouldn't lift a finger. “No. I offered to tell him once. I thought, maybe, it would help our—” I stop myself a moment before I say too much, but this is Hazard. “I thought it would help with the insurmountable rift in our… needs. But it didn’t help, and in the end, we just… don’t talk about work.”

  We don’t talk about anything.

  I might as well be renting a room in his house for all that we interact.

  Slipping away from Hazard, I don’t want to feel this slithering loathing with him. My lingerie was made for quick on and off, so it takes no time at all to slip them back on.

  I smile despite the ugly feelings coiling in my belly. “Come back and see me anytime between now and when your bondmate comes in, Hazard. I’ll always make time for you.”

  I pause on my way out, long enough to kiss him. “You’re the top of my list.

  I leave him naked on the bed, and head back into the club, hoping no one sees me before I can slip into the back and away from them.

  The throbbing pulse of the music filtering out from the public room is a little too loud this time around, and I’m grateful the dark opening to the back halls is close.

  Once I’m through, I stop to catch a breath I shouldn’t need to take.

  “You should probably go home.”

  I flinch, turning to Margot quick enough, I stumble back. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  “Of course not… but the sentiment still stands. I don’t know how you could be anything but exhausted after that.”

  “You know me, I’m the one that can’t get enough.” I’d heard it dozens of times before. Whether it came across as a good thing or a bad thing depended on the time, and the speaker.

  “The last thing I want is my star employee getting burnt out. She scowls and looks away. “Do you know someone asked me if I paid you ‘per dick’ the other day?”

  “How did that go over for them?”

  “Not well. He’s on a three month ban.”

  “Well, hopefully he’ll learn his lesson.”

  Margot shoots me a look that says she doubts it. “I’ve been meaning to ask…. How does your bondmate feel about Hazard?”

  I freeze, despite myself and blink at her. “He doesn’t care about any of the men I sleep with. He knows it’s the job.”

  “Is that what you think it is with Hazard?”

  Maybe I should tell Noa about him. Maybe he’d care that I have a favorite… that someone on this planet makes me feel the way he is supposed to.

  But that would require that he bother to give me the time of day….

  “It doesn’t matter what I think it is with Hazard. It’s the job.”

  Three

  HAZARD

  This isn’t the first time Hannah’s left me in one of these rooms, naked and confused.

  With the lead times on bondmates, I doubt it will be the last.

  But this is the first time she’s left me in pain.

  My stomach hurts as I pull my clothes back on and check myself in the mirror.

  I look exactly the same as I had when I came in.

  So does the rest of the club.

  As I walk through the public room, I can’t stop myself from looking for her. And I can’t stop myself from hoping the fact she’s not out on the floor means she’s done for the night.

  Maybe I should be ashamed of that.

  I avoid anyone I might know as I weave through the room and push back into the tamer side. The part of the club for those who are still working their way up to the other room… or for those who want to pretend they have a chance with Kimba—the woman on the stage moves in a mesmerizing way that has almost everyone else in the room salivating. But she’s not going to take any of them.

  “You,” Margot says to me, leaning against the wall by the bar. “Are the only man in here who hasn’t looked at that stage.”

  “I have a very specific taste.”

  “Yes, you do.” She looks me up and down and I don’t like what she might see.

  Clearing my throat, I push through the door and into the cool dark. “Have a nice night, Margot.”

  “See you soon, Lover boy.”

  My car is parked in amongst so many others, but when I get in, I don’t connect and drive away. I can’t.

  Not yet.

  Taking a deep breath, I drop my head back against the cushioned seat and stare up at the sky through the clear roof.

  I can’t stop thinking about what Hannah said. If her bondmate didn’t care what she did inside Margot’s walls…. The way her face has crumpled, just for a moment.

  Was that all that the men inside these walls were? Were we just a way for her to deal with the fact that her bondmate didn’t want her?

  “How could he possibly not want her?”

  It made absolutely no sense.

  I’d never heard anything like it before. Every single bonded male I’d ever met was crazy with need for his bondmate. It was part of the reason the initial scouts chose Earth to contact.

  It was a piece of history most people didn’t know and probably wouldn’t want to. Before there was actual contact between the planets, before the Agency, back when my mother was taken from Earth, all of the women who wound up as bondmates were abducted from their homes, torn from their lives.

  The bond was so strong between Sian men and human women that it was… addicting. If her bondmate didn’t want her….

  Hell, the only reason I’m requesting a bondmate is because I want her so badly it’s driving me crazy.

  Someone who can break this connection I have to her and replace it with something healthy.

  It’s a stupid last ditch attempt to get her out of my system. But I don’t have any other options anymore.

  HANNAH

  The car’s engine dies as it docks with its charging port in the garage, and I sit in the dark for a moment before forcing myself to get out.

  The garage is all white. Walls, floor… even Noa’s car is white. Just like the inside of the house.

  I stand out like a glaring stain.

  I don’t have to punch in a code, the door opens to the imprint of my hand.

  But inside isn’t any better than out.

  I drop my bag on the floor and wait, listening for any sign Noa might come out to speak to me. But there’s no movement. None but my own as I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I’m a dark splotch in Noa’s otherwise sterile house. There’s no color here. Everything is in strict order. Everything has its place.

  And mine isn’t here.

  I place the car’s neural key in the spot designated for it and consider leaving the bag where it is. Consider kicking off my shoes and waiting for Noa to come after me.

  A fight sounds nice right about now.

  But it’s more likely that he’ll simply pick them up and return them to me.

  Silently.

  Barely even looking at me.

  Everything is quiet as I close the door and slip my shoes off, padding through the seemingly empty house on bare feet, I know that’s a lie. Noa is just that quiet.

  Hitching the bag higher on my shoulder, I finally hear him.

  He’s in his office. I hear his fingers clicking across his desktop and the faint hum of the music he plays when he doesn’t want to be disturbed.

  But, his office door is open when I step into the enormous living area. The space was tailor made for parties and friends… If Noa has thrown the former, or has more than one of the latter, I’d be amazed.

  But across from the hall that leads to the garage, where I stand, half shadowed, the wide doors to his office are pushed to the side and he glares down at his desk like he wants to punch it.

  A violent outburst would be something I know what to do with.

  But Noa is just as monotone as his house.r />
  As if he feels me watching, he looks up and meets my eyes. “You’re back early.”

  “Yeah.”

  His face sours. “I have meetings, so you’ll need to stay out of the way.”

  Of course.

  It’s not my profession that bothers him. On the few occasions he’s used me for clout, it was more about my job than anything about me. But when he doesn’t want to use it, I’m better placed in storage. Out of sight where no one has to deal with me.

  The front door opens and I watch as a man who’s familiar—but whom I’ve never been introduced to—comes in without bothering to knock.

  If Noa is intent on ignoring me, his associate is not. He stares at me—something I would be used to, if it didn’t look like he wanted to kill me.

  I don’t wait for an introduction that will never come. I turn on my heel and escape to the other side of the house. Sliding open the door to my room only enough to slip through before I close it again, I tab on the lock and shiver at the feel of beetles skittering over my skin.

  It’s not Noa.

  Noa, I’m used to.

  He went cold the third day I was here… and I still don’t know why. But whatever act he’d put on when he retrieved me from the Agency had cracked after the first time we’d had sex.

  The second… he’d been angry, and the third…. Not even the men at the club use me the way Noa had. And in those walls I was supposed to be a toy.

  After that, it was clear that whatever he wanted from me, he wasn’t going to get it, and I’d been shoved aside. Now I just took up space, like a woman renting a room inside his home.

  Blinking, I wipe the hot tear away from my eye and turn to the explosion of color that I’ve carved out in here.

  I won’t cry about the situation. I’ve had months to adjust and I’m not foolish enough to think anything’s going to change, any time soon

  My room is the only place in the house where the walls aren’t white. The only place in the house where there’s clutter.

  There’s a folded basket of laundry beside my closet. Placed there by the woman who cleans his house. And I only consider putting it away for a moment before I drop my things beside it and crawl onto my bed.

  I barred his maid from cleaning room after the first week. Her orders and my life don’t match up.

  There are a dozen things I could do—should do—but I’m too exhausted to think about any of them.

  And when I drift off to sleep, there’s only one man I ever dream of…

  Tonight, however, I dream of him being torn away from me, wrenched from my body and dragged into the darkness by unseen hands.

  I wake in a cold sweat and stare at the dark rectangle that leads into my private bath.

  It’s been decades since I’ve had a nightmare….

  But that dream is a reality.

  No matter how much I’d like to ask Hazard to rescind his request.

  He’s not mine. And I can only hold onto him for so long….

  Four

  LAST MONTH

  HAZARD

  Hannah is occupied when I arrive and I go to the bar instead of bothering with the public room. I draw the wrong kind of attention when I spend too long in there alone, and I don’t feel like dealing with Hannah’s most common admirers today.

  “Tennan never takes long,” Margot says, setting a glass in front of me with a brown liquor and a bit of ice. “She’ll be out soon.”

  It’s funny, but I think Margot likes telling me the other men’s names. As if it bothers me.

  “You know… you could talk to her about working out a deal.”

  I freeze with the glass half way to my lips and look at Margot, afraid to ask what she means by that. I know what I’m thinking isn’t what she’s suggesting.

  “With the games you play, you could probably set things up to join her, no matter who she’s got in the room.”

  I watch Margot for a long moment. The idea isn’t a bad one, it’s just not… what I’ve ever planned. “I doubt her other clients would appreciate my untimely arrivals.”

  The woman behind the bar seems to enjoy that answer. “How’s that bondmate request coming?”

  Of course she would know. She’s one of the few people on the planet with that information that isn’t implicitly employed by the Agency.

  “I imagine you’d know better than I would.”

  “Wait times are usually only about three months.” The statement feels like it should be a question, but it definitely isn’t. “There are plenty of women who want to come here and find their big strong sian man.”

  And none of them are going to be the one I want. “Apparently, the algorithm doesn’t think I’m good enough for anyone.” Maybe it knew no one deserved to be paired off to me.

  It was starting to feel like half the brotherhood had bonded. Strike brought his kid to the meetings, and every day felt like a little push closer to the precipice.

  The fact that the algorithm still hasn’t found me a bondmate feels like a sign.

  It takes me a moment to dig myself out of that self pity and when I do, I realize Margot has been watching me the whole time.

  “Maybe the Saints are giving you the option of pulling your name from the hat.”

  I clench my jaw. What can I possibly say to that?

  Leaning on the counter, Margot meets my eyes. “Once you’re behind those doors—as long as you aren’t hurting my girls—what you do isn’t really any of my business. But Hannah came to this planet with expectations. I don’t believe they’re being met.” She looks me up and down. “If you tell anyone I suggested this, I’ll deny it, but maybe you could fulfill some of them.” She holds my gaze for a long moment and then someone further down the bar calls her name and she leaves me.

  Leaves me with a hard and ugly lump in my gut. Because there’s only one expectation that I could fulfill. And the very idea—

  I’ve never heard of a woman having a child outside of her bond. I’m sure it’s possible. Sure that it has to happen.

  But the idea leaves me feeling as though I’ve thrown myself into the Shadow Zone, naked.

  I’m distracted enough, I don’t notice the guy approaching until he leans on the bar beside me.

  “Dathan.” I say, taking a long drink, waiting for him to ask for what he wants.

  “Any chance you’re looking for more players tonight?”

  They think it’s a game and I’m willing to let them. I hadn’t been, but why not?

  Tonight isn’t the best time to be alone with her, and Dathan’s an easy addition to our time. He likes Hannah, and he already knows the rules. “Sure.”

  “Everyone knows, once they see you, Hannah’s off the table for the night unless you’re willing to share.”

  “What can I say, she has taste.” The grin and the bravado are both fake.

  Dathan doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns to watch the woman on the stage.

  “Do you think you’ll put in for a bondmate?” He asks, still not looking at me. “Mine arrives on a ship in two days. I thought I’d feel ready for her, but….” Shrugging, he sends a grimace toward the floor.

  “I’m sure Hannah will tell you there’s no chance you’ll disappoint the woman they've matched you with.” Something bitter creeps into my bones, but I force it down like bile. “It’ll be just like with her… but once the bond clicks through, there’s no chance you’ll mess it up. You’ll feel everything she feels. You’ll know what she likes and what she doesn’t without even having to ask.”

  This time he looks at me, and it’s with a strange half-glare.

  “What?”

  “You sound like you know from experience.”

  “Just a lot of friends.”

  But he’s still looking at me like I’ve decided to drink from the sanitizer sink. And luckily, I don’t have to say ‘what’ again.

  “I don’t want you to think I’ve like… stuck around to watch you guys—I know that’s not a part of the deal, but you
don’t give us any time to get out of the room before you start.”

  “And?”

  “If I didn’t know she was bonded to someone else, what you’ve described is almost what you guys look like. The way she moves for you isn’t anything like how she moves for me or any of the other guys you’ve brought me in with. It’s like you know what each of you wants without needing to tell each other.” Shaking his head he looks back to the dancer. “If that’s what the bond’s like, maybe I’m not so nervous after all.”

  Dathan is silent for a long moment, but I know it won’t last long.

  “Why do you like to watch?” Dathan asks. It’s not a perverse question. He’s just curious. And it’s the reason I actually answer.

  “Because I want as much time with her as I can get, and I’ve only got two loads to give her. So… if I can provide her with pleasure on pleasure… Why the hell wouldn’t I?”

  Dathan is quiet for a long moment. “You’re in love with her.”

  There’s no point in denying it, but I keep my voice low. “Yes.”

  A bottle lands in front of me with a heavy thunk.

  “She’s in room six.” Margot’s gaze travels to Dathan before she looks back at me with something a little meaner than laughter in her eyes. And as she goes, I could swear she calls me a coward.

  And maybe I am. I swipe the bottle off the bar and head through the room, Dathan close behind.

  Hannah is there, waiting. She’s sitting in the chair I’ll soon occupy, and she meets my eyes the moment I step through.

  Before I make it across the room, she’s stood and with a little hop, her arms are wrapped around my neck. I catch her under her ass with my free hand when she wraps her legs around my waist.

  “Considering you just got done playing with someone else… I’d think you’d be too tired for acrobatics.”

  I set the liquor on the table by the chair and get a better grip on her.

  She smiles, and it hits me right in the chest. “It’s funny, but whenever you show up, it’s like I get this second burst of energy and I’m so horny nothing but getting you inside me will sate that particular hunger.”